Hell hath no fury like a Rogue
by Mohawk82
Summary: Sabretooth is stuck at the mansion. Rogue invites him to a private party with dubious intent. He's about to learn that there is nothing more cruel than teenage girls. Crack-fic
Victor Creed was woken by giggling and hushing from outside the door. Groaning, he stretched on the too small bed, trying to get his bearings. Right. The X-geeks isolation tank in the lab. He grimaced. One would think he should be spared that treatment, considering they had grabbed him from the exact same conditions in the lab belonging to Strykers heir. He refused to think of it as that they had rescued him and he wouldn't consider the fact that he actually had a bed here. He just wished they could find a way to get the fucking suppression collar off of him and turn him loose.

Footsteps and hushed voices that really wasn't all that hushed brought his attention back to the door. How long had he slept? The X-geeks usually made the rounds in the morning.

In a fucking freaky way three girls walked hand in hand through the door. No, really, just through the door. Without opening it. Now he recognized one of them; the girl he'd kidnapped once. She seemed unfazed though, giggling as much as the others. Fuck, he really needed to get the collar off. Little girls were giggling at him for fucks sake!

He got up to tower over them, trying his damnedest to look like the infamous Sabretooth. The fact that he was wearing a pair of boxers belonging to the kid that turned to metal didn't help at all. He'd sleep in the nude, but since the staff in X-geekville ran in and out at all odd hours, he had been forced to settle for borrowing some clothes from the only one with the right size. So here he was, trying and failing to look intimidating in boxers with what he suspected was a character in a cartoon on them and a fucking collar.

The Rogue looked him up and down and snickered.

"Nice boxers." She commented, raising a brow. The other girls burst into a fit of giggles.

He growled but her smile just widened.

"Auw, none of that grumpy crap, 'tooth. We've come to get you. We're gonna be havin' a party." She smirked as the little yellow clad chick zapped off some tiny fireworks. The third girl made a fanfare with her hand as a trumpet and all of them burst out giggling again.

Sabretooth was really thrown for a loop. Why the hell did they want him to join them? The Rogue should be pissing her fucking pants just at the mentioning of his name.

"Shouldn't you be out for vengeance or something?" He asked Rogue.

"I can have that later. Now we party." She was somewhat smug.

The smell of alcohol from the little bitches was tantalizing though, and it could actually be worth the pain of having to put up with these three. Presuming they had enough to give him a buzz.

"Sorry to break it to ya, kids, but we'd probably get caught. You know, the grown up geeks won't have me stalking the halls."

"Don't you go calling me a kid..." Rogue scowled but before the tirade could begin, Jubilee cut in.

"That's why we're not taking the main door, duh." Jubilee redirected Rogue's focus with a glare.

"I could kill you all." He smirked wickedly.

"Right now your hand would go right through us. And as soon as I'd be solid, I'd drop you so fast you can't do nothin' 'bout it. You know, with your purty little necklace 'n all." The Rogue gave him a taunting smirk.

"Come on, it'll be fun. Or would you rather sit around, moping in here like a cat in a crate?" Kitty spoke for the first time.

Sabretooth was not a cat. He did _not_ get crated. And damn it, he did not _mope_. That made up his mind. He supposed it would be better than sitting here. Shrugging, he went to the door.

"Let's go, then."

The tiny, brown haired girl grabbed his arm and with Rogue behind her, hands on Kitty's shoulders they passed through the door. Well, mostly: the collar obviously interfered because Victor's face smacked into the door and he fell, pulling Kitty with him. She landed on top of Rogue. Jubilee, who was the only one who made it all the way through, gagged and giggled at the same time.

"That looks funny in a disgusting way!" She whisper-squealed at the feet sticking through the door.

They managed to get up from the tangle, without Sabretooth maiming anybody, still inside the tank.

"I think you have to touch him on both sides of the collar." Rogue suggested.

Victor made a face. He wasn't much for touching.

"But how? He so big!" Kitty whined.

"That's what she said!" Rogue and Jubilee shouted in unison, all girls once again dissolved in a fit of laughter. Victor just barely avoided rolling his eyes. Sabretooth did not fucking roll his damned eyes.

"Oh what the hell. Be nice now." Kitty blurted, jumping up on Victor's back, wrapping her legs around his waist.

She had one arm across his chest and the other hand on his forehead. Sabretooth gritted his teeth but grabbed her legs to keep her in place. He wasn't going to run smack into anything again. The other girls grabbed their friend and off they went. Kitty guided him through walls and doors and the ridiculous procession reached a very girly dormroom with two beds. And booze. Lots of it. Victor perked up, this could actually be worth the suffering.

Rogue pulled out four trays of shots, handing them out. Victor sniffed it. Tequila. His senses were dulled by the collar, but he couldn't detect anything off about it.

"Go!" Rogue said and all the girls downed their shots in rapid succession. Victor followed suit and finished just after the others.

"You lost! Now you have to drink this." Rogue said, handing him a bigger glass of tequila.

"'That supposed to be a punishment?" Victor raised a brow and downed the drink in three gulps.

* * *

A large amount of alcohol later and Victor was drunk as a skunk. He had not accounted for the collar's effect on his resistance to alcohol. It was so funny though, he seriously thought about keeping the collar when it was removed so that he could get this shitfaced again. The girls were fucking hilarious, how had he not seen that before?!

Someone had started the stereo and when the old hit 'Cotton eye Joe' came on, he couldn't help himself, he just had to dance. Rogue joined him and they bounced around until he tripped on his own feet, taking her with him to the floor. All of them laughed and he managed to snuggle a little with the cute girl, an involuntary purr slipping from him, before she made grabby-hands at the bottle of bourbon. He reached a long arm over, grabbing the bottle and took a swig before handing it over to her.

While she drank he pulled her closer and nuzzled her neck and that earned him the sharp sting of her mutation.

He abruptly rolled away and she got up, trying and failing to throw herself at the bed. She tumbled and hit the floor, all of them roaring with laughter, but something in him snapped and he wound up crying.

"What happened?" Jubilee asked, a little cautiously.

"I don't know, it's just... It's all so much... and it just built and I... just can't keep it in right now." Victor bawled.

She patted his shoulder awkwardly.

"You need this." Rogue handed him a bottle. He couldn't even see what bottle it was but he took it anyway.

"I want to dye your hair!" Jubilee blurted to him and it seemed like a good idea at the time. A distraction.

The stench from the dye was horrible, but he was having fun anyway. The girls were doing other stuff too, scratching him weirdly all over, but he was too drunk to figure out what. Too drunk to really care.

* * *

Some time later, he couldn't tell how long, his hair was rinsed and oddly they had made him shower. He was starting to feel weird. A churning feeling in his stomach and he heaved.

"Oh, shit! He's gonna puke!" Kitty yelled and with combined strengths the small women wrestled the bedraggled cat into the bathroom just in time to push him over the toilet as everything he'd ever eaten, ever he thought, came back up. This was new, and definitely not something he wanted to experience again.

"Maybe we should get you back to your own bed." Kitty asked him.

He nodded, and mainly by the joint effort of the women they began the cumbersom return to his prison.

A whole lot of grunting, no small amount of profanities and some serious sweating on the girls part, Victor was dropped unceremoniously on the floor next to the toilet. Rogue placed a bottle of water and a box of pills next to him and then they were off, disappearing through the door like they had entered hours earlier. Victor heaved and puked again before he fell asleep on the floor.

* * *

They were probably talking with hushed voices, but to Victor whose head seemed to be exploding slowly, it sounded like they were shouting. If the puking had been the worst thing that had happened to him up until now, boy was he in for a new level of misery. He lifted his head from the tiles, squinting at the harsh light of the fluorescents.

Half the merry band of X-geeks were staring at him and he fought to sit up but that resulted in a wave of nausea and he found himself clinging to the toilet.

"What the hell happened to him?!" Scott shouted it and it was all Victor could do to press his hands against his ears.

Clear amusement danced in the eyes of the blue furred doctor as he answered.

"He seems to be experiencing a hangover."

"How did you get ahold of alcohol?!" Scott again.

Now, Victor had never lived by rules before, but he was pretty certain that this was something he should never ever, under any circumstances, snitch about. He tried to stare back in defiance but it came out as a pathetic grimace.

Wolverine sniffed the air and cocked his head, trying to figure something out. He probably would get the scent of all the girls and Victor frowned when a smug smile stretched the other males lips.

"I think we'll never get him to tell us." He snarked and turned on his heel.

The way he gave up instead of trying to convince the others to take the chance to beat the information out of Sabretooth was suspicious, but Victor's alcohol addled mind failed to catch on. He gave up on every attempt to keep what was left of his dignity and crawled on all four to the bed where he would remain, drifting in and out of sleep for hours.

His next trip to the bathroom, this time to try to drink up all the freshwater in the world, left him in shock. What he had failed to notice before, was the evidence of how out of hand last night had gone. His hair was pink and purple. Pastel pink and purple. Like a fucking my little pony. And so was his beard. He squeaked in a very unmanly way when he realized that his body hair seemed to be missing. _All of it?_ He pulled the hem of the boxers away from his body, half afraid to look. _Yep, all of it_. He covered his face with his hands. What the actual fuck. _Had he been crying?!_ A hazy memory slipped out of his grasp.

He returned to bed, trying to sort through the haze but coming up short.

* * *

He was still on the bed when the girls returned much later.

"Well it seems like I got my revenge. You look like crap. Colorful crap." Rogue smirked.

Sabretooth sneered and was about to get up but she hissed for him to stay put.

"See it is the truth that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. I know that if that collar came off, you'd be good as new in five minutes. What everyone failed to realize is that while they were busy crowding you when they got you out of that cage..." She dangled a key from her finger. "...I snatched the key to said collar. I could take it off... but I won't. Not right now. You deserve a little agony."

This time he did get up and she backed away holding a phone out like a small shield.

"Not so fast. I was _nice_ you. I left you a bottle of water and Tylenol. If you so much as split a hair on any of us, this is going on YouTube so fast your head will be spinning."

He stared at the screen, horror increasing, as he saw himself fucking dancing around like a schoolgirl.

"Yep, we have it all. The infamous Sabretooth bawling his eyes out like a toddler, your fancy hair, dancing to fucking Cotton eye Joe... Don't you ever forget that."


End file.
